Creating And Enforcing A Boundary Does Not Make You A Donkey

Creating And Enforcing A Boundary Does Not Make You A Donkey

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”  (Genesis 2:15-17 NIV).

All was well with God’s creation on earth for the entirety of the first two chapters of Genesis.  Then, the story turns as we failed to obey His instructions, and the rest of the Bible is His loving actions to bring us back into relationship with Him.  The fall and exit from the Garden of Eden was due to our failure as humans to honor His rules.  Another word for rules is boundaries.  God established a boundary regarding the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Once that boundary was broken, Adam and Eve were no longer welcome in the Garden and we all today deal with those consequences in the form of pain, physical death, and toiling for food. 

Speaking of boundaries, I recently read a good book on the subject by Lysa TerKejurst entitled, “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes:  Lovoing Others WIthout Losing the Best of Who You Are.”

You my know her from her appearances on K-LOVE radio and her Proverbs 31 ministry. In the book she talk about the pain she experienced when her hsuband had violated the sanctity of their marriage and she subseuqnetly instilled boundaries.  When the boundaries were broken, she enforced them and filed for divorce.

She now must deal with the snipers in her life that have launched a whisper campaign against her.  How could a Proverbs 31 woman divorce her husband.  God hates divorce so why would she do this?  Why not show love instead of drawing up boundaries.  Why is she trying to control him with these boundaries?

I think it is important to understand that our God is a God of boundaries.  He has established boundaries on us and very likely understands the need for us to establish boundaries on others if we are to love ourselves as we love Him.  We can, and should, still love those in our life with whom we have placed boundaries, but now we do so in a different manner.  One that is healthy for all parties and respects and honors God. 

Some of us do not honor the speed limit, and the consequence of failing to obey that boundary is a speeding ticket.  It is natural to try to blame “the system” for the ticket but the real fact is we were speeding, we failed to honor the boundary, and we will suffer the consequences.  In rural areas, a no trespassing sign is fairly common.  The landowner is not a donkey because he wants to keep people off of his land.  The property line is the boundary.  Your trespassing, and disregard of boundaries, is done at your peril.

If a person has established a boundary in their life it is probably not because they have a desire to control somebody else.  More likely, they do have a very strong desire to enforce a boundary around the things that they hold dear, which is likely their family, their self, their ministry, and their work.   The boundary was likely instilled because somebody in word or action became a threat. Lysa wrote in her book, “Remember all the work you’ve done to draw boundaries was not about controlling someone else’s behavior. It’s about paying attention and being honest about how someone’s poor behavior and lack of responsibility is possibly controlling you. And when people close to us are acting out of control, that’s when we run the greater risk of lacking self-control. When a relationship shifts from being difficult to being destructive, it’s the right time to consider a goodbye.”

So, if we feel compelled to label the boundary setter “a donkey, unchristian, mean, controlling, psycho, etc.” because they have established a boundary and we are unwilling and/or unable to respect that boundary, then perhaps it is time for us to entertain the possibility that the true “donkey” is the one looking at us in the mirror.  Perhaps it is now time for us to do one of the most difficult, most necessary, and also most rewarding tasks that we can do as a human.  It is time to find our quiet place and invite the Holy Spirit in to search us and reveal to us all of the many times that we have failed to respect and honor this other person, and consequently have failed to respect and honor our Lord and Savior.   If this process cannot be done honestly and sincerely, then there is no need to do it.  Also, if this process is attempted without the invitation and presence of the Holy Spirit, there is no need to do it.  This is an important process, a sacred process.  This is part of our pruning and sanctification.  This is a task on our own personal road to Damascus.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for the boundaries that you have placed in our lives as we know that they are for our own good.  Forgive us for the times in which we fall short of honoring your boundaries and when we fail to honor the boundaries of others.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and a Certified Lay Speaker with the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church.  He is a Board Member for Gulf South Men, an Action Team member for The Kingdom Group, and a Board Member for the Lagniappe Community Walk to Emmaus.  Todd is a Past President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and remains active in this and many other local, regional, and international ministries.  Todd is the proud father of Emma and Kyle and resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Finding The Voice Of God

Finding The Voice Of God

A third time the Lord called, ‘Samuel!’ And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, ‘Here I am; you called me.’  Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy.   So Eli told Samuel, ‘Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’  So Samuel went and lay down in his place.  The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’  Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’”  (1 Samuel 3:8-10 NIV).

 

I have empathy for the young Eli in 1 Samuel 3.  The Lord audibly called out to him three times, but Eli thought the voice was from Samuel rather than God.  Why?  According to 1 Samuel 3:7, “Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him.”

Today, many people also struggle to hear the voice of our Lord.  We clearly hear the voice of our flesh, society, and the enemy, but the gentle whisper of our Lord can be hard to discern.  God is clearly speaking but unfortunately many of us are not hearing. 

Many of our questions to God are seeking a yes or a no response.  The answer is not found in a magic eight ball but rather through time spent in prayer and patiently waiting.

A “yes” response can be discerned through the Holy Spirit within us all.  A “yes” answer will give us confidence that we are proceeding in accordance with God’s will and the Spirit within us will grant us peace.  If you don’t have peace, the answer is likely “no” or “not now” but it is certainly not “yes.”

God also speaks audibly and directly from Himself as he did to Eli and on numerous occasions in Scripture.  The Voice may come out of nowhere, but you will absolutely know that it is from God.  It is a supernatural experience that is hard to explain.  Of course, any voice or word we hear must line up with Scripture so that it does not contradict something God has already spoken.

God speaks to us through Scripture.  He does not speak to us by opening the Bible and randomly place your finger on a verse.  That is kind of like the magic eight ball approach to things.  Rather, He will speak to us as we read His Word diligently and continually.  The key is to invite the Holy Spirit to be with you as you read to guide, teach, and interpret.  I like to begin my reading by asking, “What message are you teaching me”?

God is speaking to each of us.  We just need to pay attention, filter out the other voices, and patiently and expectantly wait for an answer, which will come at the perfect time.

Prayer:  Thank you for speaking to us.  Help us to hear Your voice and to quiet all other voices that do not submit to Your authority.  Forgive us for the many times that we do not listen or simply and sadly ignore Your voice.  Continue to speak to us, pursue us, and refine us.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and a Certified Lay Speaker with the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church.  He is a Board Member for Gulf South Men, an Action Team member for The Kingdom Group, and a Board Member for the Lagniappe Community Walk to Emmaus.  Todd is a Past President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and remains active in this and many other local, regional, and international ministries.  Todd is the proud father of Emma and Kyle and resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Grapes, Giants, and God

Grapes, Giants, and God

They gave Moses this account: ‘We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit.  But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there.  The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.’  Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, ‘We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it’” (Numbers 13:27-30 NIV).

 

I recently heard a story on the radio in which a study had shown that individuals that were optimistic before they began a large task were more likely to finish the task than those that had a negative attitude.  We all know that the optimist sees the glass half full, and the pessimist sees the glass half empty.  Yes, …. and the engineer says the glass has been incorrectly manufactured for this application. 

Sometimes in life the task before us seems impossible.  Some people will focus on all the obstacles to success and then not ever get started.  There are usually two different ways to approach an obstacle in life. The story of Israel’s twelve spies always helps me when I am facing an impossibility. 

In Numbers 13 Moses sends twelve spies into Canaan to explore the land. They came back and gave a glowing report of the land of “milk and honey” but were but scared to take it because it was heavily fortified, and the people were “giants.”  Caleb was among the twelve species and saw the same things as the others, but when he gave his report, he was focused on the positive attributes of the land, “the grapes,” and made no mention of any obstacles.

God called this kind of faith a “different spirit.”  “But my servant Caleb, because he has had a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land he entered, and his descendants will take possession of it” (Numbers 14: 24, emphasis added).  Caleb knew that God wanted the Israelites to have this land (the Promised Land from Exodus 5) and any real or perceived obstacle in the way would be removed because he knew the battle belongs to the Lord.

I think we all have been in situations in which we can see and feel “the giants” around us.  It can be paralyzing, and alone we simply cannot proceed.  However, if we claim the victory of Philippians 4:13, then we can do it but only through Him.

Peace requires action.  After the others gave their pessimistic account of the situation and stirred up the crowd, Caleb “quieted the people” (Numbers 13:30).  He chose confidence over fear.  He used his words to bring peace to a chaotic situation.  You may recall Jesus using His words to rebuke a storm and saying, “Peace, be still (Mark 4:39).”  He was calm while the situation around Him was anything but calm.

Jesus told us in this life we will have trouble.  Amen?   We can either view the trouble as an obstacle or an opportunity.  Successful people chose the latter.  Caleb saw the opportunity of an “exceeding good land.”

Caleb also knew “If the Lord is pleased with us, then He will bring us in….” (Numbers 14: 8, emphasis added).   He searched his own life by prayer to be sure there was nothing within him that was “out of alignment” with the perfect will of God.  We cannot face the giants if God is not with us.  Sin separates us from God.  John 15 is a familiar Scripture of the Vine and the branches.  God will be pleased with us, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you” (John 15:7).”  The key to “remaining in Him” is to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

The prophetic perfect tense is a literary technique used in the Bible that describes future events that are so certain to happen that they are referred to in the past tense as if they had already happened.   Caleb supernaturally saw into the future and envisioned his enemy defeated before the battle began.  Numbers 14:9 reads, “Their protection has been removed from them, and the Lord is with us…”  This is important because the battle had not even started but yet “their protection had been removed.” 

This prophetic perfect tense is perhaps best summed up in Mark 11:24.  “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”  David believed in advance of the battle that God would help him defeat the giant Goliath.  Jesus has conquered death, and He can certainly conquer walls, armor, and any real or perceived “giant.” 

I think a big part of prayer is to pray to God with gratitude for the victory before the battle.  God may not always give us what we want, but He certainly will give us what we need as promised in Philippians 4:19.  “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”  If we are seeking the same things for our life as God is seeking for us, then we know that we are seeking the things that we need.  This is the message of Psalm 37:4.  “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

God wants us to see the grapes each day.  If giants are present and they are trying to interfere with God’s plans, then they will surely be defeated before the first stone is cast. 

Prayer:  Thank you for the encouragement from Holy Scripture.  Help us to step out in faith and show our appreciation for whatever outcome will occur to our problem.  We know that whatever happens, You will walk with us, and somehow good will come I am from it.  Help our hearts and minds to truly understand that if You are with us, then who can stand against us?  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Pause At Easter And Behold Our Savior

Easter is one of the principal holidays, or feasts, of Christianity. It marks the Resurrection of Jesus three days after His death by crucifixion.  It is a time of redemption, but we really have a poor understanding of the term.  Redemption is when somebody pays for your sins so that you can be forgiven and walk away justified. They do your time. They pay your penalty. All the things you’ve done wrong are paid for by somebody else.

That’s what Jesus Christ did for you and me.  He lived a perfect life so that his sacrifice was enough to satisfy God’s judgment. All of your sins were paid for on the cross, and we celebrate this gift at Easter.  Sin has always required blood for redemption from the Father.  Now, we no longer need to make animal sacrifices because the blood of Jesus has washed us all clean.

The word “behold” appears throughout the Bible.  I think it is noteworthy when it appears in regards to Jesus.  John 1:29 reads, “One day, Jesus came from Galilee to be baptized by John the Baptist in the Jordan River. When John saw Him coming, he announced, Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (emphasis added).

This was an interesting choice of words to be received by Jewish ears due the symbolism of this verse. Once a year in the Jewish faith, a perfect, spotless lamb was sacrificed at Passover to represent the redemption of the world.

John was prophetically and symbolically speaking to the crowd.  John certainly knew the prophecy of Isaiah regarding the birth of Jesus, and he also knew the divinity of his Cousin.

The term “behold” is used again in regards to Jesus when He encountered Pilate.  When the religious leaders who wanted to crucify Jesus brought Him to Pilate, the Roman governor interviewed Jesus and acknowledged that He was totally innocent: “Pilate then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, and said to them, ‘You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him’” (Luke 23:13-14, emphasis added).  Pilate recognized that there was something special about Jesus.

Prior to handing Jesus over to be crucified, Pilate said to the Jews, “Behold your King!” (John 19:14, emphasis added).   I don’t think this was a sincere statement from Pilate since he knew that Jesus had not made a claim of earthly political power.  However, I think this statement does serve as an important reminder for us.  We should indeed behold our King but not just at Easter because we should live every day as Easter people.

The reason we would obey the words of Pilate is because John took these words and under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit placed them in his Gospel.

Pilate had a choice and he made it for fleshly reasons.  Jesus also had a choice.  And although He was equal to God, He made a decision to yield to God as a sign of submission to the authority of God.

Pilate found no fault in Jesus. He didn’t see any sin or crime that Jesus should be punished for.

If you have not acknowledged that Jesus Christ has a right to be Lord over your life, what do you find wrong with Him? On what basis do you reject what He did for you? On what grounds do you reject Him as your Savior?  Perhaps you have accepted Christ into your heart, but you are unable to forgive yourself for some past sin.  If so, do you realize that you are diminishing what Jesus has done for you? 

Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit and that Spirit is inviting us each day into Holy fellowship through the invitation of Revelation 3:20.  “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me (emphasis added).” 

At Easter this year, we should enjoy chocolate rabbits, easter eggs, and a nice dinner.  All of these things are fine.   However, we should also enjoy a moment to stop and “behold” the ransom that has been paid for us by our Lord and Savior. 

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for the blessing of Easter.  Give us the wisdom and courage to live each day as Easter people.  Amen. 

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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The Lobbyist

The Lobbyist

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV).

 

There are numerous non-government organizations and companies that have a substantial lobbying presence in Washington, D.C.  An optimist would indicate that the lobbyists are there to educate lawmakers on the nuances of current or pending legislation that affects the employer of the lobbyist(s).  A pessimist would state that the lobbyists are there to unfairly influence the legislative process on current or pending legislation.  In any event, the job of the lobbyist is to try to convince those in power to take specific action based on what the lobbyist perceives to be the correct course of action.

I too am a lobbyist.  However, I have never interacted with any politicians, and the closest I have come to any politician in Washington, DC was several years ago as I walked past the White House.  I suspect that I have spent more years as a lobbyist than the vast majority of any lobbyist in Washington D.C.  My lobbying is done on a pro-bono basis – I don’t get paid.  I represent myself and have lobbied the same entity for decades upon decades.  I have an unprecedented rate of failure in my lobbying efforts, but I persist to try to craft the perfect pitch that includes passion, reason, and creativity.  I can even present a “win-win” pitch that everybody should love, right?

My “client” is God.  I suspect He smiles and shakes His head and allows me to each day make my pitch as I try to get Him on board with my plans.   On my better days, I pray to God, sometimes with wordless groans but with confidence that the Spirit will intercede for me.  On other occasions, I try to disguise my pitch as a prayer and often confuse God with Santa Claus or a vending machine.  

In the secular world, we are motivated by action and reward.  For example, if I work for this company, they will reward me with payment.  If I study hard at this school, they will reward me with a degree.  If I am nice to my neighbor, hopefully they will be nice to me. 

So, if I provide my prayers, presence, witness, gifts, and service to God does that give me special consideration when I make my prayer, or pitch, to God?  No.  The reality of the situation is that God does not always give us what we want but always gives us what we need.  And nobody knows better what we need than God.  So, the eventual answer to prayer may be no, not now, I have something different in mind, or yes. 

A more fruitful approach is to submit to God rather than try to lobby Him.  The Bible teaches that the key to submission is trusting in Him.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6, emphasis added).

It is easy to trust in a God that knows all of my many, many flaws and shortcomings but still loves me enough to offer me the following promise and pathway to Him.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

My lobbying days are getting more infrequent.  I pray that yours are too.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for loving us even though we often fail to properly love, honor, and trust in You.  Forgive us for our efforts to lobby you rather than trust in You.  Help us to walk by faith and not by sight, and give us the confidence that You are always with us and will never forsake us.  Amen. 

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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The Best New Year’s Resolution

The Best New Year’s Resolution

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2 NIV).

 

January is the time for New Year’s resolutions, right?  I am considering joining a gym and need to get in better physical shape.  You may seek to spend more time with family, find a new job, etc.  All of these are fine goals.  I read a recent article that indicated that most New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned or broken by January 19.  Wow! 

Most New Year’s resolutions are addressing a physical need such as my desire to get in better physical shape.  Some may address a mental need such as a desire to slow down and work less.  Regardless, we want a new self to correspond with the new year. 

Millions of books have been written about military battles in the past.  The greatest battle ever fought and the one with the most significance for each of us is being fought with or without your awareness in your very own mind.  The best way to obtain a new self is to focus on our spiritual health, and the most important component of our spiritual health is our mind because it is in our mind that we tell ourselves who we are.

 I am reading, The Four Voices, by Patrick Morley.  This is an excellent book and in it, Mr. Morley helps the reader to understand that there are four voices competing for attention in our mind:  the world, the flesh, the devil, and the Holy Spirit.  The author provides useful and practical advice on how to identify which voice is that of the Holy Spirit. 

It is important to identify the Voice of the Spirit because that allows us to renew our minds and claim the promise of Romans 12:2.  “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

We all have a desire to “fit in” to society.  We typically seek to conform to the ways of the secular world.  However, if we want to be transformed, we can not also be conformed.  On earth, our fleshly tendency is to stop up treasure on earth, rather than in heaven.  On earth, we think that the first will always be first, rather in heaven where the opposite is true. 

When we conform to the world, there are many benefits with educational opportunities, employment, social advancement, etc.  However, it is important that we do not conform to the world to determine wisdom.  In the world, we determine what is wisdom in our minds.  By renewing our minds, we better understand that true wisdom comes from God and His Word. 

1 Corinthians 3:18-19 reads, “Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise.  For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”

The best New Year’s resolution is to change the way you think.  However, please realize that you can not do this alone.  Ephesians 4:23 says, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”

Renewing your thoughts begins by knowing and living the Truth.  You may already know these famous words of Jesus: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).  But did you know that the night before Jesus went to the cross, He prayed, “Use the truth to make them holy. Your words are truth” (John 17:17).

God is the Truth and to know Him and live in Him and for Him is the only way to be complete.  The best New Year’s resolution has nothing to do with willpower.  The best New Year’s resolution is to study and live Scripture, which is Truth.

The more we get to know Jesus, the more Truth (i.e., God) we will know.  As we know more Truth, we are better able to reject the lies from other sources.  Now, we can renew our minds and with the help of the Spirit we can be transformed more into the likeness of Christ.  So, the Truth really does set you free!

Prayer:  Thank you for the Truth that is found in Scripture.  Forgive us for the times we do not seek You first and Your righteousness.  Please help us to yoke ourselves to Your Spirit to renew our minds.  Amen!

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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The Path To Forgiveness

The Path To Forgiveness

In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26 NIV).

Perhaps one of the most difficult things we are called upon to do as Christians is to forgive others.  We all tend to be quick to ask forgiveness from God for our sins but slow to forgive others that have hurt us. 

In the Methodist church the congregation recites these words prior to Holy Communion.  “Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart.  We have failed to be an obedient church.  We have not done your will, we have broken your law, we have rebelled against your love, we have not loved our neighbors.”  We have indeed failed to be an obedient church and not loved our neighbors when we fail to do as instructed in the Lord’s Prayer,forgive them that trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12).

I recall a sermon years ago in which the pastor said, “As you forgive those that have hurt you, the prisoner that is set free is yourself.”  Amen! 

Those that hurt us are often wounded people themselves.  Hurt people tend to hurt people.  Instead of giving emotional control to our attacker by feeling angry and seeking revenge, perhaps a better option is to wonder what has happened to this person that has caused them to act in such an evil manner?  This is not done to minimize the hurt, but to facilitate our healing.

There are many paths to forgiveness.  Sometimes it may be appropriate to tell the person directly that you forgive them.  However, it is important to realize that they may not realize that they have hurt you and may not care.  Another option is to ask the Holy Spirit to soften your heart and help you forgive the other person but do not tell the other person that you have forgiven them. 

Forgiveness should be done as a spiritual practice to honor and glorify God.  It is tempting to use forgiveness as an opportunity to rightly or wrongly play the victim, demonize the other person, and solicit public sympathy through social media or other outlets.  This is not true forgiveness and does little to honor God, yourself, or the other person.  Perhaps a better option for forgiveness is similar to what the Word teaches us for prayer.  “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you (Matthew 6:6).

Any discussion of forgiveness usually involves forgetting.  The phrase “forgive and forget” is not found in the Bible. However, there are numerous verses commanding us to “forgive one another” (e.g., Matthew 6:14, Ephesians 4:32). A Christian who is not willing to forgive others will find his fellowship with God hindered (Matthew 6:15) and can reap bitterness and the loss of reward (Hebrews 12:14–15, 2 John 1:8).  Speaking of social media, Beth Townsend, founder of Life on Purpose, posted the following on Facebook recently.  “Forgiveness is a perpetual state of mind.  A choice.  If God can forgive and then forget, we can too.  That is true freedom!”  Now, that will preach!

Forgiveness is a journey and a process and often takes time. The process is more difficult as the offense is perceived to be more personal or severe. If you are showing signs of increased criticism, negativity, and impatience, you are still on the journey.  Unforgiveness also hurts our relations with others due to our sour disposition, depressed attitude, and tendency to easily be annoyed.  The hurt becomes water under the bridge when we achieve forgiveness.  We then release the other person from the debt and no longer desire payback for the offense. We acknowledge that the hurt is real, but we also understand that our struggle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12).  Forgiveness may or may not lead to reconciliation, but it certainly leads to freedom and a closer walk with our Lord.

A common theme throughout Scripture is an invitation for us to (1) understand that Christ is already living in us and (2) accept the invitation for us to live or abide in Him.  John 15:4 both invites us and informs us.  “Abide in Me, and I in you.”

We also know that Christ is in us because in Revelation 3:20 Jesus says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me (emphasis added).” Christ is in us because of the inherent nature of our bodies.  1 Corinthians 6:19 teaches, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own (emphasis added). 

I know I have hurt others, and I deeply regret that.  Similarly, others have hurt me in such a deep and intentional manner that I am unable to forgive them.  But because Christ is in me and I choose to be in Him, He allows me the strength to eventually forgive where I fall woefully short on my own accord.  I long for the day when I can claim with confidence the words of the apostle Paul.  “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 3:20, emphasis added).

Prayer:  Thank you for the blessing of forgiving our sins and life everlasting in a life lived in and for you.  Forgive us when we fail to be an obedient church.  Help us to forgive those that hurt us.  By the power of your Holy Spirit, help us to be reconciled to you and our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Am I Forced To Condone Or Condemn?

todd shupe

Am I Forced To Condone Or Condemn?

todd shupe

“Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’   ‘No one, Sir,’ she said.  ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’” (John 8:10-11 NIV).

 

Division in society has been around since the enemy came as a serpent into the Garden of Eden to cause division between humanity and God, and the consequences linger to this day.  The church universal is stronger when it is united and when that unity is focused vertically to wordship God and horizontally for evangelism and discipleship of the Body of Christ (others).  The enemy certainly is aware of the tremendous power and potential of the bride of Christ and seeks to hurt our unity and hinder our evangelism and discipleship.  The Word in John 10:10 warns, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy….”  That warning is as valid today as it was years ago.

We all see division in society today in all forms.  Many people live and attend churches that are divided along racial, ethnic, and socio-economic lines.   I see great value in healthy discussion and polite disagreement in the areas of politics, religion, and social issues.  The Church has an invaluable role to play in championing social justice, while being mindful of its primary mission of the Great Commission.  Inevitably and sadly, when it comes to social issues inside the Church, we typically assume a contemporary, secular approach rather than a Christ-like approach. 

A current social issue in the church, particularly my denomination of United Methodist, is how to properly address the issue of homosexuality.  Of course, there are two schools of thought on the issue and both sides have been very clear on their position, which is fine.  What is not fine, is that both sides tend to focus inward to condone each other on their “team” and then focus outward to condemn those that are not like-minded. 

It has recently gotten to the point that a clergy member posted a video on a private Facebook page for clergy of a highly non-traditional church service featuring a drag queen talking to children and simply asked his peers, “Are you OK sanctioning a highly non-traditional worship service as a representative of the UMC?  Looking for a simple yes or no.  Edit to clarify: This is a poling question. Nothing more and nothing less.”  The clergy member that asked the question was immediately condemned by others that supported the service because he simply asked a question.   We can no longer have civil discourse and polite disagreement on social issues without somebody being offended and condemning somebody.  That is sad.  We as a society and as the Church universal have failed to live out Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world…”

I feel this begs the question – What would Jesus do?  We do not need to wonder because our Lord and Savior has already shown us another option when He encountered the adulterous woman at the well (John 8:1-11).  He did not condone her sin, nor did He condemn her.  He offered her grace and left her with these wise words that still resonate true to this day — Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” 

This woman had led a sinful life, but Jesus was not concerned with her past, but was focused on her future.  He called her to a higher standard of living.  A standard that involves repenting from our sin and living a Christ-centered life rather than a self-centered life .  Jesus knew that sin was sin and it separates us from God and leads to death.  As modern Christians, we too are called to the same standard as the woman.  Jesus is telling us today, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Sadly, many do not want to repent from their sin but rather want others to join their effort to condone their sinful behavior and move the activity from the sin category, as defined by Scripture, to the ok category, as defined by society.

I think we spend too much time trying to lobby others to “reclassify” what God has clearly already classified as sin because we are “wiser” than Him, or we live in a new age and have new insight and perspective.  Yes, God gave us experience, tradition, reason, and personal feelings to aid us to interpret Scripture.  However, the caveat is that when any of those conflict with the Bible, they must be dismissed in favor of Scriptural authority.  I feel that 2 Timothy 4:3 was written for times such as these.  “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”

On the other hand, if somebody has a different interpretation of Scripture than mine, I acknowledge that perhaps they are right.  However, I certainly don’t think it serves the Kingdom for me to condemn them because we differ.   We are all Christians and we hurt the Kingdom when we condemn each other.  Jesus did not condemn the adulterous woman so why should we condemn fellow Christians because we disagree on a particular social issue?  Romans 8:1 reads, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

All Christians are in Christ Jesus, but all Christians will never agree on various social issues.  I would love to see the time, money, passion, and energy that is spent on disagreement over social issues to be spent on evangelism and discipleship. 

Prayer:  Dear God, Forgive us for spending time and money on issues that do not bear good fruit and do not honor You.  By your Spirit make us one with Christ, one with each other, and one in ministry to all the world, until Christ comes in final victory and we feast at His heavenly banquet.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Who Is Your Authority?

Who Is Your Authority?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.   He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.   In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:1-5, 14 NIV).

 

There is a long history of division and unrest in the Church.  Many of the Epistles of the Apostle Paul addressed division and sinful lifestyles.  So, current division certainly falls into the category of there is nothing new under the sun.

The Church is the bride of Christ and at its best has the potential to do even greater things than Jesus did (John 14:12).  The enemy knows of the power and potential of the Church and seeks to introduce issues into the Church to divide, deceive, and destroy.  So, the Church at its worst will focus its efforts and resources inwardly on issues that will not bear good fruit nor facilitate evangelism and discipleship.  The teaching of the Apostle Paul on this topic is still relevant today.  “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels” (2 Timothy 2:23).

I understand the value of social issues and appreciate the fact we all have different opinions.  Diversity of thought is healthy and necessary.   I recently had a nice visit with a good friend regarding a contemporary social issue.  He told me that he had a problem with me and my position.  My response, was, “Brother, you and I don’t have any problems.  However, it appears to me that your issue is with God because you don’t like parts of Scripture that are contrary to your personal beliefs.” 

Different people can read the same Scripture and have different interpretations.  I have read the same Scripture over the years and sometimes come away with a new revelation about God, myself, or others.  These new revelations happen because “the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it pierces even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).  As I gain new insight from Scripture, I realize that the Word has not changed, but by inviting the Holy Spirit to be present and teach me as I read, my understanding may change.  1 Peter 1:25 reads, “… but the Word of the Lord endures forever.

I have talked to some people that have told me they understand what the Bible is teaching but based on their personal opinion they reject the Scripture.   Sadly, they are our rejecting our Lord when they reject Scripture.  Matthew 10:32-33 reads, “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.  But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven” (Matthew 10:32-33).  The Apostle Paul also warns against the perils of denying Christ.   “If we disown Him, He will also disown us” (2 Timothy 2:12).

When we reject God, we do so in favor of personal autonomy.  Dennis F. Kinlaw was a Wesleyan-Holiness Old Testament Scholar and former President of Asbury College.  He wrote, “Satan disguises submission to himself under the ruse of personal autonomy.  He never asks us to become his servants.  Never once did the serpent say to Eve, I want to be your master.  The shift in commitment is never from Chris to evil; it is always from Christ to self.  And instead of His will, self-interest now rules and what I want reigns.  And that is the essence of sin.”

Our goal as Christians is not to try to attempt to convince others to reclassify what God has already classified as sinful behavior.  Rather our goal is to embrace our inherent need for the Word as stated in 1 Peter 2:2. “Like newborn infants, desire the pure milk of the word, so that you may grow up into your salvation.”  I struggle with my sins, but I think it is in my best interest to grow in my salvation to partner with the Holy Spirit and the Body of Christ to repent and turn from my own wicked ways.

It is certainly possible to read the Bible and not get anything out of it. You need certain keys to unlock Scripture. One of those keys is accepting its authority and understanding its Author.  “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).  The Bible says it’s God’s Word: “And we also thank God continually because, when you received the Word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the Word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe” (1 Thessalonians 2:13).  There is no need to challenge the Word because, “Every word of God is flawless (Proverbs 30:5). 

One of the reasons why there is so much confusion in the world today is because people are listening to so many different authorities, and everybody’s asking, “Who’s right?”

Whether you realize it or not, you have an authority for your life. It’s what you use to make your choices.  Your authority may be yourself, society, etc.

There are four unreliable sources of authority that people often use instead of Scripture.

  1. Culture (Experience). People who follow this authority source say, “But everybody’s doing it.” Yet Exodus 23:2 warns against it: “Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.”
  2. These people say, “But we’ve always done it that way!” Jesus told some of the religious people of his day: “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions” (Mark 7:8).
  3. This unreliable source says, “Well, it seems logical; it seems rational.” But Scripture warns against using our intellect as our authority source: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 16:25).
  4. Personal feelings. Throughout the United States you’ll find people saying, “I believe it because I feel it.” But the Bible tells about a time when the world was in anarchy because of this attitude: “Every man did that which was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25).

The four sources above are all inwardly focused and have some value. However, the caveat is that when any of those are in conflict with the Bible, they must be dismissed in favor of Scriptural authority.  I encourage you accept the Bible as the final authority for every issue in your life.  When you accept that authority, you’ll start to get more out of the Bible and be obedient to the first part of Proverbs 3:6 “in all your ways submit to Him.  The benefit of submitting to God is contained in the second part of Proverbs 3:6, “and He will make your paths straight.”   

Prayer:  Dear God, Forgive us for the times that we reject your Word as the final authority in our lives.  Help us to not only accept your Word but to spread the Good News contained in your Word to all that we meet.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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Who Are You?

Who Are You?

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will” (Ephesians 1:11 (NIV).

 

Years ago, I did a Bible study based on the 307 questions in the Bible that Jesus asked.  Each one offers us the opportunity for self-reflection and growth.   I think these questions are particularly profound because they give us a greater insight into Jesus and ourselves. 

As I think about all of the questions asked by Jesus, my mind is drawn Matthew 16:13-17.  “Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”  And they said, “Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”  Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus said to Him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.”

I think the first question is important because it reminds us that others may have an incorrect understanding of Jesus. (Note:  If somebody has an incorrect understanding of Jesus, they will not be able to have a proper understanding of themselves or others.) Our relationship with Jesus is personal and should not be based on the opinions of people that don’t truly know Him.  Yes, we are called to love others and be in community with others but our relationship with God is one on one.

The second question is critical – Who do you say I am?  How you answer this question will profoundly shape your Christian walk and inform your sense of self.

Jesus disciples witnessed his many miracles but yet after He calmed the seas in Luke 8, they still struggled to understand the true identify of our Lord.  In fear and amazement, they asked each other, “Who is this?”  We have the benefit of having the Old and New Testament so we all should be able to answer the second question.

Pop psychology is wrong when it tells you to look inside yourself and find your value.  Scripture teaches that you are good simply because God made you in His image. Period.  You were made so He could love you.  1 John 4:19 reads, “We love before He first loved us.”  1 John 4:9-10 reads goes a little bit deeper by reading, “This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”  The sacrifice allows us to be presented pure and without blame to the Father.  Moreover, the blood of Jesus ensures that nothing can come between us and God (Romans 8:39).  The love of the Father and the sacrifice of the Son is fundamental in understanding ourselves and God.

Once we begin to realize how much God loves us, then we are better equipped to “consider it all joy” (James 1:2), “be content in any and every circumstance” (Philippians 4:12), and “be content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

So, once we understand who God is, then it helps us to understand who we are and gives us a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment in life.  True satisfaction happens when you engage in your role as an image bearer of God. Such was the view of King David. “As for me,” he wrote, “I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness” (Psalm 17:15).  David was on a journey to have more of Christ in him.  He knew that God was working in him to burn away the impurities just as a refiner of silver as described in Malachi 3:3.  The refinement is done when the refiner can see his face in the silver.  The Holy Spirit resides in you, but can a stranger look at you and see God?

Ephesians Chapter 1 is our basis for understanding who we are and our relationship with God.  We (1) were chosen, (2) are holy and blameless, (3) have been adopted, (4) have redemption, (5) were granted forgiveness, and (6) were sealed with the Holy Spirit.

The issue of our identity is also connected to the very same question that Jesus asked of His disciples, “Who do you same I am (Matthew 16:15).  If our answer is You are Lord and Savior, then we can claim our identity in accordance with Romans 8:17 which teaches, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, “

Do not let yourself be defined by society or unhappy people on social media but instead commit yourself to living and knowing you are a child of God that was made in His image so He could love you.  The Bible teaches us that the enemy comes to deceive, divide, and destroy.  The destruction occurs after we are deceived from our true identity and divided from the Body of Christ.  The sniper is a pawn of the enemy.

When I encounter bitter and unhappy Christians, I realize that they do not know the truth about God nor themselves.  That is the sad result of a poor choice.  There is joy and freedom when we understand why God loves us so much.  It has everything to do with whose we are – we are His.  You are free to choose bitterness and hate, but as for me, I chose faith, hope, and love.  The choice is yours.  Choose wisely. 

Prayer:  Dear God, There is so much hatred and bitterness in this world.  We are a people divided and often over things that really don’t matter.  Forgive us for failing to forgive and love others as You have loved us and free us for joyful obedience to You.  Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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