Choose Your Friends Wisely

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:11-13 NIV).

 

We are called to show love to all of our neighbors.  It is important to note that we can be friendly and show love without being friends.  The selection of a friend is important and can have good or bad consequences.  Proverbs 12:26 teaches, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

So, how can we make wise decisions in selecting friends?  First, as with all decisions, begin with prayer.   As one who is lacking wisdom in many, if not all areas of my own life, I lean heavily on James 1:5. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Friends can help us in so many ways in life.  In Luke 5, Jesus forgives and heals a paralyzed man because of the faith of his friends

Friends who are like brothers help us in all seasons of life.  Years ago, I gave a gift to a close friend of mine that reads, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).  A true friend is a brother and a blessing.

Did you know that when a utility pole has lost its strength, it can sometimes be held upright by the immediately adjacent poles?  Good friends can literally hold us up in times of adversity.

God has taught me a few lessons on friend selection, and I pray they are as beneficial for you as they have been for me.

A Friend Should Not Be Envious of You

An envious friend is not a friend, and certainly not one that “loves at all times.”  An envious person will eventually be a disloyal person and commit betrayal.  This problem is as old as Judas and Jesus.  A true friend will rejoice as we rejoice and morn as we mourn. 

A Friend Should Join Us in Seeking Our Lord’s Face

I am committed to growing in my Christian discipleship and each day I want to grow closer to our Lord.  Those in my inner circle have the ability to help or hinder that growth.  Some of my friends serve as a Paul to me, and I serve as a Timothy to others.  In either case, we are all seeking a closer walk with our Lord.  This is the THE most important common denominator.  Our friendships have God in the middle and are a cord of three strands.

A Friend Should Not Be Envious of You

An envious friend is not a friend, and certainly not one that “loves at all times.”  An envious person will eventually be a disloyal person and commit betrayal.  This problem is as old as Judas and Jesus.  A true friend will rejoice as we rejoice and morn as we mourn. 

A Friend Should Join Us in Seeking Our Lord’s Face

I am committed to growing in my Christian discipleship and each day I want to grow closer to our Lord.  Those in my inner circle have the ability to help or hinder that growth.  Some of my friends serve as a Paul to me, and I serve as a Timothy to others.  In either case, we are all seeking a closer walk with our Lord.  This is the THE most important common denominator.  Our friendships have God in the middle and are a cord of three strands.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for the friends that you have placed in our lives.  Help us to select friends that help both of us grow closer to You and help us to end friendships that hinder our relationship with You.  May we always remember what a friend we have in Jesus.  Amen!

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Certified Lay Minister and Men’s Ministry Specialist through Francis Asbury Methodist Church in Baton Rouge, LA. He is a Board Member for Gulf South Men, an Action Team member for The Kingdom Group, and a Board Member for the Lagniappe Country Walk to Emmaus. Todd is a contributor to Project XII and Baton Rouge Parents Magazine. He is a Past President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and remains active in this and many other local, regional, and international ministries. Additionally, he’s the author of the inspiring book “Fathering A Special Needs Child.”  Todd also enjoys filling the pulpit to share the Good News of our Lord and Savior. Todd is the proud father of Emma and Kyle and resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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