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The Ministry of Presence
“Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words” Job 2:13 (NLT).
This is certainly not a news flash, but people are always in a hurry. We rush to work, ball games, and even to church.
But if we are always in a hurry, then we will miss opportunities to be a good listener because listening requires time, focus, and listening. When we are always in a rush, we are unable to have good conversations, and we certainly cannot be an active listener to a friend or to the still small Voice of our Lord.
Job was a wealthy man in the Bible who lost virtually everything, including his money, health, and even his children. “When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. . . . Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words” (Job 2:11, 13).
This is called the ministry of presence. When we are ministering to someone in pain, we must remember this: The deeper the pain, the fewer words you use. If somebody’s cranky due to a flat tire, then you can talk about it for 30 minutes or so. But if that person has a major crisis, talking about it for a long time is probably not going to help.
A lot of people don’t know how to help someone who is in crisis. They don’t know what to say.
Those same people will often stay away from a friend because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.
The truth is that we don’t need to say anything. Just show up and be present. I have participated in a prison ministry before and the goal of the team was to “listen, listen, love, love.”
You can’t talk people out of their pain. Job’s friends realized that some pain is beyond words. When it’s the right time, your hurting friend will say something. When it’s the right time, then you’ll be able to say something too.
This kind of investment takes time. Notice how many days Job’s friends sat on the ground with him: seven. Do you have anybody in your life who’d sit on the ground with you for seven days without saying anything? That takes a very mature person and a true friend.
If you want to be that kind of friend, then you have to be willing to sacrifice so that you can give people your love, attention, and presence.
The Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor coined by Stephen Covey in his renowned book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, to describe the level of trust in a relationship. It represents the amount of trust that has been built up, or eroded, in a relationship, essentially the “hidden wealth” of trust that determines how well two people can communicate and collaborate.
Another term I have heard is “foxhole.” Specifically, I recall a speaker at an Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Equipping Conference ask the audience, “Who is in your foxhole?”
Perhaps the best way to describe this is from Proverbs 17:17. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” It is a blessing to have friends and brothers in our lives to share our burdens and celebrate our joys. If you don’t have a friend, take the first step and be a friend to make a friend, join a local men’s ministry, and talk to your pastor.
Prayer: Thank you for the friends and brothers that you put in our lives. May we be present with them in their hour of need and they with us in our hour. And may your Spirit be present and Your name glorified in all of our interactions. Amen.
Meet the Author
Todd Shupe is a Certified Lay Minister and Men’s Ministry Specialist through Francis Asbury Methodist Church in Baton Rouge, LA. He is a Board Member for Gulf South Men, an Action Team member for The Kingdom Group, and a Board Member for the Lagniappe Country Walk to Emmaus. Todd is a contributor to Project XII and Baton Rouge Parents Magazine. He is a Past President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and remains active in this and many other local, regional, and international ministries. Additionally, he’s the author of the inspiring book “Fathering A Special Needs Child.” Todd also enjoys filling the pulpit to share the Good News of our Lord and Savior. Todd is the proud father of Emma and Kyle and resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
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