How To Be An AAA Rated Father (Part 2)

todd shupe

And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son’s venison, that my soul may bless thee” (Genesis 27:25 KJV).

Fathering is increasingly important because children are increasingly being born into either fatherless homes or homes in which the father is present but not active in the life in the child. 

Men have been appointed by God as the head of the home. I understand that many women find this troubling, and the Bible is full of stories of courageous women that have served the body of Christ. The truth is that many men have done a terrible job of leading their house in any capacity, particularly spiritually. Many men are not even physically present in the home or if so, they do not recognize Jesus as their Lord and savior and will not even attend church on Sunday.

The article, “The Daddy Factor: The Crucial Impact of Fathers on Young Children’s Development” by Claire Lerner provides some eye-opening results from new research regarding the impact of fathers on the development of children.  For example, when fathers use more words with their children during play, children have more advanced language skills a year later. This is especially important because language skills are correlated with academic success.  Also, the more time fathers spend in enriching, stimulating play with their child—such as playing pretend or sharing stories—the better the child’s math and reading scores are at 10 and 11 years old.

I previously wrote a blog titled “How To Be A AAA-Rated Father,” which focused on three attributes that are needed to be a good father – affection, affirmation, and attention. This current blog deals with the result of a fatherless child.  A fatherless child will be missing three key attributes as he or she goes trough life.  This void will be a huge obstacle for a happy and successful life. 

First, a fatherless child will be missing accountability.  The father serves as a daily life coach.   Even the best of children will lie, steal, disrespect, destroy, and cheat.  The father will unconditionally love the child and because of his love will discipline the child as needed.  The father will hold the child accountable.  Accountability is like walls in that they provide protection.  “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls (Proverbs 25:28).

Second, a fatherless child will be missing apprenticeship.   Historically, many jobs were learned as an apprentice.  Similarly, fathers teach valuable life skills to their children.  A father trains his children to prepare them to become self-sufficient.  Each move a father makes, good or bad, is training his children.   Most lessons are caught and not taught, which means that children are much more keenly focused on what we do rather than what we say.  Fathers establish the norms in the family.  I was blessed as a child to have a father that established norms of going to church on Sunday, family, hard work, education, fiscal responsibility, respect for authority, humility, and more.

Third, a fatherless child will be missing affirmation.  As a child, I wanted nothing more than to please my parents.  I wanted their approval and affirmation and I received it.  Can you imagine the psychological damage to a child if they never hear words of affirmation from their father?  What if instead the child hears the opposite: “Why are you so dumb?  You are a disappointment to me!”  The identify of the child becomes one of failure.  How can they face the challenges of life with strength and courage?  

The need for a child to receive the blessing of his father is illustrated in Genesis 27.  Jacob went to great lengths to receive his father’s blessing.  Be sure that each of your children receives your blessing and help them to have accountability, apprenticeship, and affirmation.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for the blessing of children.  Father, help us to be more like you and to instill positive attributes into our children.  Amen. 

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

We welcome your comments below.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Thank you for visiting. We trust that you have enjoyed reading our articles.

Liked this post?

Read more below or search for more topics...

  • The Importance of Christian Study

    The Importance of Christian Study "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16 NIV). For many of us the thought of studying brings back memories of cramming for exams in high school or college.  Many men would rather engage in Christian action rather than Christian study.  Through action we can see the fruits of our labor and be the Body of Christ in our neighborhood and beyond. Our goal as Christians should be to develop an intimate relationship with God.  There are many paths in which God can reveal Himself to us:  prayer,...
  • The Precious Gift of Time

    The Precious Gift of Time “Use your time in the best way you can” (Colossians 4:5 ICB). I recently had a nice visit with a young man at my church.  He told me that he was about to graduate high school and study engineering in college so he could “make a lot of money.”  I told him there is nothing wrong with making a lot of money.  I reminded him that the founder of the Methodist church, John Wesley, had a profound statement in this regard.  Wesley stated, “Having, first, gained all you can, and, secondly saved all you can, then give all you can.” Clearly,...
  • Tell Yourself The Truth

    Tell Yourself The Truth “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit” (Romans 8:5 NLT). If you were raised in a Christian home, you were surely taught the importance of honesty and always telling the truth.   I feel that honesty and respect go hand in hand.  You are not respecting someone if you are not telling them the truth. It is sad that we often fail to extend the same courtesy to ourselves that we extend to others.  When we believe negative thoughts...