The Holy Covenant of Marriage – Part 1: Instructions For Men

The Holy Covenant of Marriage Part 1: Instructions For Men

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7 NIV).

I have been asked a few times over the years to share my thoughts about marriage. I have prayerfully organized my thoughts into four blogs. My target audience is men. Hopefully any man regardless of his current marital status will find these blogs useful at best or thought provoking at worst. If you find the blogs helpful, then that indicates that God was at work, and He deserves your thanks, not me.

Living together as a husband and wife is so much more than residing at the same address, eating at the same table, sleeping in the same bed, having the same checking account, sharing the same insurance policies, and maintaining the same house. None of these tasks guarantee intimacy. An intimate relationship is guaranteed when you commit yourself to a life lived in Christ and for Christ and when you treasure, respect, and cherish your union with your wife more than any other relationship (except for your relationship with God) or any other thing (e.g., job, hobby, or possession).

A healthy marriage is contingent upon you choosing to lead by example. You show Biblical leadership when you prioritize your wife as the most important person in your life behind God. Listen to your wife. You show respect by listening. You affirm her feelings by listening. You establish and grow trust by partnering with her to work out her fears and achieve her goals. I think we would have fewer divorces and happier marriages if more husbands focused on the Biblical command to respect their wives rather than demanding their submission.

Intimacy with your wife is so vitally important to a healthy marriage. You must be committed to maintaining this intimacy and understand that to do so you need to be intentional in helping your wife with her struggles, fears, goals, and pain and accept that some of these issues may have started before you ever met.

During the dating period we want to get to know our partner. Getting to know your spouse is a lifelong journey and dating after marriage will help you get to know your wife on a much deeper basis than her favorite actress or restaurant. Always remember that there is no relationship with another human that is more important than your relationship with your wife. God first, wife second.

Prayer: Dear God, Your Word teaches that You sit as a refiner of siler. Refine us, dear God, and burn away all impurities which separate us from You. Help us to be men after your own heart. Help us to love our wife as Christ loved His Church. Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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