Self-Control: "Fools Lose Their Temper; Wise Men Hold It Back"

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28 NIV)

The Bible teaches us that self-control is essential to living a Christian life. We must exercise our self-control or we become controlled by our weakness. Our weakness may be food, alcohol, drugs or pornography. The enemy knows our weakness better than we do ourselves and will encourage us to go to it rather than God in times of need. Our lives can soon be dominated by our weakness and we are living completely in the flesh rather than in the Spirit.

Self-control is the very essence of “dying to self” and living in righteousness with God. Our righteousness cannot — and will not ever — come from ourselves, but only as a means of grace from God as a result of totally surrendering yourself to His will and becoming His disciple.

Where to Begin When You Struggle

If you are struggling with self-control, first begin with prayer and ask God for His help. Then, go into the Bible and study and memorize some particular verses that speak to you and your particular situation.

For me, my go-to verse in times when my patience is growing thin is Proverbs 29:11. It reads in part, “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.” We must remember that all wisdom comes from God.

So how does one obtain wisdom? James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Self-Control as a Witness

The exercise of self-control will not only keep us away from our temptations but will allow us to be a powerful witness for God.

You may ask, “How can I be a good witness for God by exercising self-control?” The best witness is one who demonstrates his faith with his actions. St. Francis of Assisi encouraged people to speak the gospel wherever they go and use words when necessary.

What Self-Control Looks Like in Practice

Self-control will allow you to remain silent when verbally attacked. It will allow you to respond with love when confronted with hate. Self-control will also keep you pure when you are alone.

Self-control will also keep you sane in times of great adversity, such as a flooded home, divorce or loss of a family member. We freely and willingly yield control of ourselves to God and instead of worrying about what will happen, we stand steadfast in His promise of Romans 8:28.

The passage reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

You Are Not Meant to Do This Alone

Self-control does not mean that we are to go it alone. Life is tough and we need fellow Christians for the journey. We need accountability groups that are small, honest and safe so we can be vulnerable and encouraging to each other.

Christ encouraged us to come to Him with our burdens and He will give us rest. Read Matthew 11 and then fasten your yoke to a friend.