Five Steps for Handling Frustration

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV).

We all have experienced frustration. Sometimes we are frustrated with ourselves and sometimes with others, including God. Our frustrations present an opportunity to either deepen our relationships with others or divide us. Regardless of the nature of our frustration, our response will determine if good fruit comes from the situation.

Here are five simple steps for dealing with frustrations.

Did I cause it? The Bible says, “A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7). We are often frustrated by things in life because we bring them on ourselves. If the “sowing” is accidental, the “reaping” may seem too harsh. However, if we accidently strike our thumb with a hammer is the pain any different than if we did it intentionally?

What can I learn? There is a lesson to be learned in all circumstances. Romans 8:28 teaches, “In all things God works for the good of those who love him.” There are far too many bad things and evil people in the world, but we can take comfort that all things work together. God can even take the negative and turn it into a positive. The key is we need to trust Him and wait patiently for Him.

Thank God. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we learn, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” You don’t have to be thankful for a bad situation, but you can be thankful in a bad situation. Frustration may be a blessing in disguise. The Apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh and pleaded three times to God to remove it. “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Focus on the good. Our mental health greatly influences our spiritual and physical health. This is likely the reason that we are encouraged in Philippians 4:8 to properly focus our thoughts. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” It is not easy to laugh in difficult times, but whenever possible we should do so because “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).

Ask God to bless you with His love. One of the most common Scripture readings at a Christian marriage is 1 Corinthians 13 because it defines love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 teaches, “[Love] is not easily angered.” Love is self-giving, not self-serving. Love honors the other person. We tend to get so busy with our daily lives that we neglect to nurture our existing relationships or grow new relationships. A Christian life is one lived in relationship with God and His people.

Prayer: Dear God help us to view others with the same love that you view us. Amen.

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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The Heart of a Child is the Key to Heaven

“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them” (Mark 10:13-16 ESV).

There is no greater gift from God than to bless your marriage with a child. There is nothing more perfect than a baby, and it is truly a gift from above as we are taught in (James 1:17). ^“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Children are a reward from God. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5).

Jesus had a special affinity for children which is well documented in the gospels.

“But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

Jesus so loved His children that he considered it essential to become like a child to enter into eternal glory.

“And said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it” (Luke 18:17).

Jesus likens greatness to childlikeness. Anyone coming to Him must come in absolute childlike dependency and humility. Jesus lovingly embraced His disciples as “my children” (John 13:33). The apostle John lovingly addresses us in scripture as “my children” (John 13:33). Children, when very young, do not desire authority, do not recognize race or other differences, are free from malice, are teachable, and dependent on their parents. We all need to be daily renewed in the spirit of our minds, that we may become simple and humble, as little children, and willing to be the least of all.

Prayer: Dear Father: We seek nothing more than to draw near to you with the innocence of a child. We confess our sins of adulthood and seek justification from you. We know that you have gone before us to prepare a place for us in your Father’s House. We thank you for the gift of children and the opportunity to come to you as your children.

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Self-Control: “Fools Lose Their Temper; Wise Men Hold It Back”

Self-Control: "Fools Lose Their Temper; Wise Men Hold It Back"

The Bible teaches us that self-control is essential to living a Christian life. We must exercise our self-control or we become controlled by our weakness. Our weakness may be food, alcohol, drugs or pornography. The enemy knows our weakness better than we do ourselves and will encourage us to go to it rather than God in times of need. Our lives can soon be dominated by our weakness and we are living completely in the flesh rather than in the Spirit. Self-control is the very essence of “dying to self” and living in righteousness with God. Our righteousness cannot — and will not ever — come from ourselves, but only as a means of grace from God as a result of totally surrendering yourself to His will and becoming His disciple.

If you are struggling with self-control, first begin with prayer and ask God for His help. Then, go into the Bible and study and memorize some particular verses that speak to you and your particular situation. For me, my go-to verse in times when my patience is growing thin is Proverbs 29:11. It reads in part, “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.” We must remember that all wisdom comes from God. So how does one obtain wisdom? James 1:5 tells us, ^“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

The exercise of self-control will not only keep us away from our temptations but will allow us to be a powerful witness for God. You may ask, “How can I be a good witness for God by exercising self-control?” The best witness is one who demonstrates his faith with his actions. St. Francis of Assisi encouraged people to speak the gospel wherever they go and use words when necessary.

Self-control will allow you to remain silent when verbally attacked. It will allow you to respond with love when confronted with hate. Self-control will also keep you pure when you are alone. Self-control will also keep you sane in times of great adversity, such as a flooded home, divorce or loss of a family member. We freely and willingly yield control of ourselves to God and instead of worrying about what will happen, we stand steadfast in His promise of Romans 8:28. The passage reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Self-control does not mean that we are to go it alone. Life is tough and we need fellow Christians for the journey. We need accountability groups that are small, honest and safe so we can be vulnerable and encouraging to each other. Christ encouraged us to come to Him with our burdens and He will give us rest. Read Matthew 11 and then fasten your yoke to a friend!

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A Holy Calling

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:12 NIV).

There are many examples in the Bible of God calling His people. He called out to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3, and to Samuel in 1 Samuel 3, and Elijah in 1 Kings 19. These are all great stories of God seeking out His people in spite of their fear or inability to recognize His voice. God later walked the earth in the form of Jesus and continued to call people to Him. Today, God is still calling us and waiting for us.

I think it is easier to understand that we are being called rather than what we are being called to do. First, please allow me a little perspective. A good friend once told me God’s grace is not about saving you from something but rather for something. In 2 Timothy 1:9 we read: “who saved us and called us to a holy calling.” Your calling is your calling alone and it is from God and therefore it is pure and holy. His calling forbids all trust in our own doings and turns us to Christ for salvation.

If we live in unrepented sin, we become separated from God and nothing on earth can fill that void. When we live in the Spirit, then we recognize that we will sin, due to our human condition, but we desire to not sin, due to our heavenly calling. St. Paul states this beautifully in Romans 7:20. “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

Is this the longing of your heart? Is this the substance of your life toward God and His divine will? In Philippians 3:13-14 we learn the importance of forgetting the past and focusing on our calling from God. “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Your calling should prune and purify your heart and focus your desires on heavenly treasure. Your calling should elevate your hopes, your tastes, your desires. Your calling should empty you of selfish earthly desires and fill you will a desire to know Him, be more like Him, and bring others to know Him.

Prayer: Dear God please help us to find time to be alone with you to hear and understanding your calling. Please give us the courage to take up our cross and to bring others to know you as we do. We want to grow closer to you and ask that you help us leave behind all desires that lead to death and give us a heart that longs to see your face. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

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Wisdom from the Psalms

“Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands” (Psalm 119:66).

As a young child, I did not particularly enjoy reading the Psalms. I found them to be boring, and I could not understand or relate to them. Upon my confirmation, I received a red-letter, King James Version Bible with very thin pages and no commentary to help explain what I was reading. Years later I overheard a man ask a preacher, “What version (King James, NIV, NRSV, etc.) of the Bible is the best?” The preacher responded, “The best version is whatever version you will open and read.” I think this is great advice, but I might add one small caveat. Perhaps the best version of the Bible is the one that you read and understand. As you mature in your faith, you will develop a deeper desire to grow in your understanding, and multiple versions and multiple commentaries will be beneficial.

The Psalms seemed to me to mainly be the cries of King David. I did not understand his problems or his Psalms. Later in life, I have developed a much better appreciation for the Psalms and a better understanding of David’s life. I will never claim to be an expert on any aspect of the Bible, but I do enjoy learning more each day – some days more than others.

Most Christians will open Proverbs or James if they are seeking wisdom, and they will certainly find much wisdom. However, the Psalms also have much wisdom to offer. I have spent several weeks reading through the Psalms and have come away with five themes that speak to me. I encourage you to do the same, and you may come away with different themes that speak to you. Below are the five themes that I discerned. They were a blessing to me, and I pray that they are a blessing to all that read this.

Teach “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Gladden “And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, [And] oil to make his face to shine, And bread that strengtheneth man’s heart” (Psalm 104:15).

Restore “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:12).

Satisfy “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14).

Favor “For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; with favor, You will surround him as with a shield” (Psalm 5:12).

Prayer: Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14 KJV). Amen.

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True Freedom

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18 NIV). One of the greatest blessings we have as Americans is our freedom. The first ten amendments of the Bill of Rights guarantee us certain rights that are fundamental to our freedom. Despite all of our freedoms, many people still live in bondage and have denied themselves true freedom. Many us live in fear of something – death, debt, an abusive spouse, etc. Some live with guilt over something from their past. Others have self-condemnation due to an inability to impress their parents, achieve a promotion, etc. These people are alive but spiritually dead. Our human condition is such that sin is inevitable. A vast majority of the New Testament was written by the Apostle Paul, and he was a Godly man that struggled with the sin in his life. Paul knew very well of the consequences of sin. In Romans 6:23, Paul wrote, “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” As Christians we no longer have to live in bondage to our sins. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2). We may still be condemned by others, but in the eyes of God we are forgiven because of the blood of Jesus. You may be thinking – yes, I understand that I can sincerely repent and receive forgiveness, but I am still struggling with fear and anxiety due to some unresolved personal issue. First, fear and anxiety are natural. Too much is unhealthy, and counselors have the God-given gift of helping us to learn coping skills. Second, did you know that Jesus had anxiety? Jesus agonized in the Garden of Gethsemane before his death. His heart was heavy laden and He asked, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Jesus was expressing his dread of the coming trials, but He also reaffirmed His commitment to what God wanted. He was modelling for us the importance of, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2). Jesus knew we would have problems, but we can take comfort in Him. John 16:33, teaches, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus offers us His peace, and His peace is “a peace that transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). That is true freedom. Prayer: Dear God: Thank you for the peace you offer us in Jesus. Help us to accept His peace. We take comfort that when we walk through the darkest valley, we will fear no evil. We will fear no evil because we know you are with us. Amen. Meet the Author Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. We welcome your comments below. Thank you for visiting. We trust that you have enjoyed reading our articles.

Five Steps for Handling Frustration

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The Heart of a Child is the Key to Heaven

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Self-Control: "Fools Lose Their Temper; Wise Men Hold It Back"

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A Holy Calling

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Wisdom from the Psalms

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True Freedom

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