Put Down the Phone and Truly Engage with People

“Do not be interested only in your own life but be interested in the lives of others” (Philippians 2:4 NCV).

Everybody is busy.  Anytime I ask somebody how they are doing the response is always “busy” or “really busy.”  Americans are over worked and over stressed.   Work has become the number one focus for many, family second, and God third (if time permits).  This is not Biblical nor healthy.  Our priorities need be examined.

I remember when smart phones were introduced into the market several years ago.  I thought they would be great to help stay connected with work when out of the office.  The problem is they are very effective at keeping us connected with work.  We are always accessible.   Many of us check our work emails at night and weekends when we are home with our families.  We check and update or social media status all day and night. 

When I go out a restaurant or a meeting, I am always surprised how many people that are sitting in a group are focused on their phones and not the group.  We are checking voice mails, emails, texts, playing video games, or listening to music.  Our friends are sitting right next to us, but we are more focused on our social media friends, some of which we have never met.

Today most of us are a slave to our phones, and we no longer pay attention to the people around us.  As Christians we are to live in community and are taught, “Do not be interested only in your own life but be interested in the lives of others” (Philippians 2:4).  How can we show interest to others when we are always on our phone?  We can’t.

On-line communications is nice and necessary, but it won’t lead to relationships that feed your soul.  To have happy and deep relationships, we need to learn the lost art of paying attention.  We need to be present when we are present. 

This is counter intuitive for many of us.  Our flesh seeks the spotlight.  We want the focus on us, and we desperately want to be liked and for others to know we are liked.  To do this, we are very active on social media and treasure our followers rather than our real friends.

I have heard it said that people will not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.  People feel good when you give them your attention.  You honor someone by giving them your time.  One of our most precious commodities is time because it cannot be restored, and we all have an unknown, finite amount of it.

So, next time you are with your family for a meal, ball game, movie, etc., give them your time and be mentally present, and just physically present.  Put the phone down and model for them what it means to be truly present.  Use active listening. when talking with friends, family, and colleagues.    The other party will then know that you are seriously listening and interested in the conversation.

Years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a best-selling book “The Five Love Languages.”  One of the five is “Quality Time.”  We have quality time when we are truly present and actively listening to the other person.  Quality time is a lost love language that can help transform your relationships and help you live a happy life.

Prayer:  Dear God, There are so many voices competing for our attention.  We know that your spirit is in all of us and we honor You when we when we show sincere interest in others.   Help us to examine our priorities in life.  Amen. 

Meet the Author

Todd Shupe is a Men’s Ministry Specialist through the General Commission of United Methodist Men and is in training to be a Certified Lay Minister through the Louisiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He currently serves as the President of the Baton Rouge District of United Methodist Men and is a Board Member for Gulf South Men and serves on the Action Team for The Kingdom Group. He is a volunteer for the Walk to Emmaus, Grace Camp, and Iron Sharpens Iron. Todd resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

We welcome your comments below.

Thank you for visiting. We trust that you have enjoyed reading our articles.

Liked this post?

Read more below or search for more topics...

  • Daniel Shows Us How To Handle A Crisis

    Crisis Management From Daniel “Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah.   He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon” (Daniel 2:17-18 NIV).I have long enjoyed reading the book of Daniel.  He was a young Jewish man that lived in Jerusalem and was taken into captivity by Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.  He loyally served the king while remaining true to God.  The story of Daniel in the lion’s den from Daniel...
  • A Christian Perspective on Marriage

    A Christian Perspective on Marriage "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"  (Genesis 2:24 NIV). At almost every marriage ceremony that I have attended, the words “What God has put together, let no man separate,” are often spoken by the pastor or person conducting the ceremony. Rings are also exchanged by the happy couple. The rings are essentially a circle which has no beginning or end and is therefore a symbol of infinity. It is endless and eternal -- just the way love should be. The wedding ring is worn on...
  • A Joyful Life

    A Joyful Life "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10 NIV).Our society has achieved a point of technological advancement that was unthinkable a mere 10-20 years ago.  In the Western world, we have freedoms of speech and access to clean drinking water that are unheard of in other countries.   All of us, even those barely out of diapers, have smart phones.  However, many Americans are without joy and are seeking answers from pharmaceutical companies to the bottom of a beer bottle.  I...